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Fun, Jokes & Captions: Jordan in the Telegraph

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  1.  
    • CommentAuthorLatimer
    • CommentTimeFeb 7th 2010
     # 1
    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/leagues/championship/crystalpalace/7175165/Crystal-Palace-and-Simon-Jordans-troubles-a-cautionary-tale-for-all-owners.html

    Thank goodness we have a Charlton fan board who have stumped up the money for our beloved club rather than relying on a hedge fund who it appears have pulled the rug on what appears to be a rather smallish debt in football terms
    •  
      CommentAuthorLoOkOuT
    • CommentTimeFeb 7th 2010
     # 2
    Funny article. Doesn't tell us anything we don't already know; Jordan is an egotistcal prick of the highest order.
    •  
      CommentAuthorJollyRobin
    • CommentTimeFeb 7th 2010
     # 3
    "I asked the players to wait a few days to be paid; whilst they need their money, a guy on £15,000 a year on the commercial staff needs his money a little bit more."

    "Putting my two-year-old's future on the line because I believed I could pull this club through."

    This guy's nothing short of a saint!
  4.  # 4
    I expected much better from Henry Winter. Simon Jordan clearly managed to con himself, but Winter shouldn't have fallen for that crap.

    The Mirror, which also has a soft spot for mentally unwell orange people called Jordan, also fell for his sob story - "I have vigilantly kept my own council [sic] since Palace went into administration, but I think the time is appropriate to talk publicly for the first time.” Oh, boo-hoo.
  5.  # 5
    "I'm the biggest creditor and I'd like some of my money back. Am I asking for £30 million? No. £20 million? No. £15 million?

    The fact that he caused the problem in the first place seems to have passed him by. I put my money on a crap horse.....it lost ......but I'm not going to ask for my money back.

    When are the press going to work out that the geezer is an egotistical tosspot and not a football Guru.
  6.  # 6
    Saint Tango of South Norwood. Famed for turning the best yoof academy in South Norwood into stripey shite !
  7.  # 7
    Another tart who screwed the arse out of football selling thier story.
  8.  # 8
    These are my favourites :-

    By the end people knew I didn't lie !!!! WTF

    The second most difficult phone call he ever made, was to tell the administrator, that he was the biggest creditor and he wanted his money back. Yeah I bet that was really difficult.

    Hope he gets nothing back !

    "People think I'm a bully-boy full of hot air but I'm not. I'm fair. I don't take any prisoners but neither should I. I'm not the kid who came in 10 years ago who wanted to cock a snook at everybody. I thought it was funny to be the enfant terrible, but by the end people knew I didn't lie, that I had bollocks.

    "I've made two very hard phone calls in football. "The second most difficult call was to the administrator, Brendan Guilfoyle. Rather than the media image of me as 'bombastic, confrontational', I kept it totally un-emotive.

    "I told him that he has a responsibility to the biggest creditor, which was me, and that his job is to administrate the club not run it into liquidation. I said to Guilfoyle: 'I'm going to be as helpful as I possibly can. The biggest thing is that the club survives. And don't touch that Academy'.''
  9.  # 9
    One Word:
    COCK.
    • CommentAuthorChoice
    • CommentTimeFeb 7th 2010
     # 10
    Two Words:
    ORANGE COCK.
  11.  # 11
    Posted By: CHOICE TvTwo Words:
    ORANGE COCK.


    Has he been masterbating whilst eating Wotsits ?
    •  
      CommentAuthorOff_it
    • CommentTimeFeb 7th 2010
     # 12
    The man is a complete imbecile. He didn't lie? So who owns the ground then Simon?
  13.  # 13
    Posted By: Simon Jordan"My only focus was trying to pay the players and staff with the Revenue and hedge fund up my ****

  14.  # 14
    WANKER of the highest order
    •  
      CommentAuthorRothko
    • CommentTimeFeb 7th 2010
     # 15
    Really surprised that Henry Winter fell for the spin
  16.  # 16
    Oh dear oh dear.....who's he kidding....himself maybe?!!
  17.  # 17
    Posted By: RothkoReally surprised that Henry Winter fell for the spin


    I suspect that Max Clifford might have called in a favour or two and got Henry Winter to write something sympathetic.
    •  
      CommentAuthorAddickted
    • CommentTimeFeb 7th 2010
     # 18
    So you're a hedge fund manager.

    You've lent a company £5.1m

    At 18% PA

    And they're paying it.

    So why the hell do you call in the administrators?

    Unless of course Jordan isn't telling the truth.....

    Surely not.
    •  
      CommentAuthorbingaddick
    • CommentTimeFeb 7th 2010
     # 19
    Posted By: AddicktedSo you're a hedge fund manager.

    You've lent a company £5.1m

    At 18% PA

    And they're paying it.

    So why the hell do you call in the administrators?

    Unless of course Jordan isn't telling the truth.....

    Surely not.


    Methinks the man is being economical with the actualite again! Agilo could not have put them into administration unless there was a material and subsisting breach.
    •  
      CommentAuthorCan-addick
    • CommentTimeFeb 7th 2010
     # 20
    Wow. I fell for the spin and am embarrassed to admit that I actually felt a bit sorry for him, for the first time. I must not have my bull*&-t meter turned up. Started to read the comments here and got straightened out though! :-)
  21.  # 21
    I don't know why Henry Winter didn't just give him a blow job and be done with it.

    That is, as they say in the trade, a "single source" story and should not have made it into print until he had spoken with Agilo and the Administrators to get their side of the story.
  22.  # 22
    Posted By: Covered Endbut by the end people knew I didn't lie, that I talk bollocks.


    mmmmmm.........We agree!
  23.  # 23
    Can someone explain to me how Jordan lends himself money. He is the owner of CPFC, but he is also the biggest creditor. Does this mean that if I lend myself the money to pay my mortgage and then I get into financial problems and get repossessed I can legally ask for my money back ?
  24.  # 24
    I openly wept when I read this article. "Neil said, 'I'll stay for you, Simon.' " It's like Mills and Boon.
  25.  # 25
    I bet in the future he wont be tipping waiters and waitress's £1000 a pop like has in the past!!!

    More like £1........lol
    •  
      CommentAuthorAddickted
    • CommentTimeFeb 8th 2010
     # 26
    Posted By: SparrowsLaneCan someone explain to me how Jordan lends himself money. He is the owner of CPFC, but he is also the biggest creditor. Does this mean that if I lend myself the money to pay my mortgage and then I get into financial problems and get repossessed I can legally ask for my money back ?


    He borrowed the money from anywhere he could get it and guaranteed the loans. Now the loans are being called in - he has to foot the bill. It means if your partner borrows on their credit card the you've guaranteed up to the limit, cannot afford to pay back the bill, you are liable.

    I love the way Jordan mentions nothing about SP in both the articles. That lease is a real millstone around the neck for anybody that wants to take Palace out of administration - to purchase SP from Rock's administrators would probably cost at least £20m just for starters.
  27.  # 27
    I fear he does protest to much.
    Is there any possibility that he was in complete cahoots with Agilo. And that they called in the administrators so that he did not lose face with the Palace fans, but got out with some (of his) money?
  28.  # 28
    I love the fact he fails to see that one of the reasons they're in trouble are the decisions he has made.

    Selling off 5 yrs STs which eat into future ticket revenue (robbing Peter to pay Paul) and agreeing to a loan of £5.1m with a rate of 18% on it.

    The bloke was in the right place at the right time when he sold his phone business off, theres no denying that, but since then has let his own hype rule his head. I honestly think that he considers himself as a young Alan Sugar; despite the myriad of failures he chucked money at in the past 10yrs.
    •  
      CommentAuthorAddickted
    • CommentTimeFeb 8th 2010
     # 29
    Posted By: Charlton Dan...despite the myriad of failures he chucked money at in the past 10yrs.


    I've been told the film was quite good though.

    Shame he took £600k out of Palace to pay for it though.
  30.  # 30
    "I've made two very hard phone calls in football. The first was to Jeremy Peace [West Brom's chairman] when we got relegated in the 87th minute away to Charlton - who were so motivated against us - and West Brom stayed up"

    He says it as though he was surprised we were motivated.
    •  
      CommentAuthoraliwibble
    • CommentTimeFeb 8th 2010 edited
     # 31
    Posted By: Addickted
    Posted By: Charlton Dan...despite the myriad of failures he chucked money at in the past 10yrs.
    I've been told the film was quite good though.

    Shame he took £600k out of Palace to pay for it though.

    But why would he need to do that if he's got all this money that he's been pumping into the club? And surely that's not legal??
  32.  # 32
    I don't understand the defence of Henry Winter, he wrote that the English fans were chanting we hate Santana because of sectarian reasons...
  33.  # 33
    Posted By: Charlton Danagreeing to a loan of £5.1m with a rate of 18% on it.


    That was the most disappointing thing about the article for me, that Henry Winter didn't raise that sort of poor decision making as playing a part of the process. Still, maybe he thought that just letting the bloke speak for himself would be enough to show the world what a complete twunt he is...and he was right.
    • CommentAuthorJayajosh
    • CommentTimeFeb 8th 2010
     # 34
  35.  # 35
    Posted By: Bournemouth Addick
    Posted By: Charlton Danagreeing to a loan of £5.1m with a rate of 18% on it.


    That was the most disappointing thing about the article for me, that Henry Winter didn't raise that sort of poor decision making as playing a part of the process. Still, maybe he thought that just letting the bloke speak for himself would be enough to show the world what a complete twunt he is...and he was right.
    My thoughts too. Rather than the portrayal of a "local bloke done good" who only had the best of intentions and has fallen foul of all the badies that litter professional football, why did he not pull him up for being stupid and having the business acumen of 12 year old.

    He has been utterly irresponsible to every employee, fan and supplier of CPFC but is trying to come out of this whole sorry affair like he's been hard done by. The bloke is a moron imbecile.
    •  
      CommentAuthorCan-addick
    • CommentTimeFeb 8th 2010
     # 36
    Just noticed that Henry Winter is on twitter. @henrywinter

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